Six days · About five minutes a day
Your Own Lane
Notice the sideways glance, count what it costs, and come back to your own road.
Your six days
- The sideways glance — Free in your browser
- What envy costs
- Keep your eyes on your own line
- A different drummer
- Your own work, done imperfectly
- Not needing to be noticed
A taste of Day 1: The sideways glance
Welcome. Comparing is nearly automatic. Over six short days we'll practise noticing it, and coming back to our own lane. Today, we only catch the glance.
Is any one preferred before you at an entertainment, or in a compliment, or in being admitted to a consultation? If these things are good, you ought to rejoice that he hath got them; and if they are evil, do not be grieved that you have not got them.Epictetus · Enchiridion, 25
Elizabeth Carter, 1758
Epictetus asks what we do when someone else is chosen, praised or invited, and we weren't. His answer is practical rather than stern. If the thing is good, it's fine that it exists. If it isn't, you've lost nothing. But before any of that, you have to notice the moment you glanced sideways. There's nothing wrong with seeing what others have. The trouble starts when we turn it into a verdict on ourselves.
Try the reflection
Bring to mind one comparison from the past few days. Someone's news, a post, a success you noticed. Don't judge it. Just notice the moment of the glance, and what your body did. Then name it, silently: comparing. Breathe out. If it's a tender spot, take a small one, and you can stop whenever you wish. Take two and a half minutes.
One question to take with you
Whom did you compare yourself to, and what did you feel?
Day 1 is free. Days 2–6 are planned for the iPhone app, coming soon. This is reflection, not medical advice.